Beginnings: Lazerburn
by Starsabre
Summary: This is the history of our favorite little fan-made mini-bot Lazerburn.
1. Prologue

Zach's parents looked over the edge of the Hoover Dam, marveling at how large it was. His mom looked over at him.

"Honey," she called, "get out of the car and come see this!" With a sigh, Zach stepped out of the purple minivan. _My parents are so lame, _he thought. _I mean, come ON! The Hoover Dam? Why in the name of God did they think I'd want to come here when there are freaks crawling all over the place shouting, 'the aliens are here!'_ Zach's dad rolled his eyes.

"Zach, could you please stop listening to that CD player for two minutes, please?" Zach grunted and pushed the 'stop' button, placing the CD player on the edge of the dam. "Thank you," his dad said.

"Look over the edge, we're so high up! I'm so thrilled!" Zach's mom squealed. He poked his head over the edge.

"Wow, Mom, if I wanted that much excitement I could've stayed over at Andrew's and played UNO all week." His voice carried the same tone as a five-year-old girl at a baseball game: extremely bored.

"You know what, Zach?" His dad asked.

"No, what?"

"Someday you're going to thank us for bringing you to the Hoover Dam."

_Yeah, right, _Zach thought, plunking his elbow on the ledge and accidentally knocking his CD player off down the dam.

"Aww, no! Crap!" Zack shouted. "My Black Sabbath CD was in there!"

"I didn't know you had a Black Sabbath CD!"


	2. Creation

The CD player skidded down the dam, at one point passing something small, metallic, and spidery that appeared to be cursing in some strange foreign language as it too fell. The sides of the dam ground away at the CD player's casing, scratching it too many times to count. The water was quickly advancing, and unless the CD player did something to stop its descent, it was history. But then, out of nowhere, a gaping hole rushed up to the meet the CD player. It fell through into a facility of some sort, falling a couple hundred feet before smashing into a couple hundred pieces on the cold concrete floor. _Crap,_ it would've thought, if it could think.

However, despite what you may believe, this is not the end for our music-playing friend. Indeed, then this would have been to short of a story to even bother putting on the Internet. No, the CD player still had some more life left to live, even though in its current state it was useless. The facility the CD player had happened to smash in was inside the Hoover Dam, and the room he was in was currently holding a cube that was probably bigger than your house. Inscribed upon this cube were intricate swirls and seemingly random symbols. But for creatures like the strange spidery thin who, if you haven't guessed by now, was Frenzy, the AllSpark was nothing near random.

At this particular moment, Frenzy had fallen through the same hole as the CD player, except he survived the drop. Standing on top of the CD player's metal scraps, Frenzy used the power of the AllSpark to restore himself to his original size, accidentally fixing the CD player in the process. Frenzy radioed his fellow Decepticons.

"I have located the AllSpark," he squeaked. Then he skittered off.


	3. Escape

The CD player sat there. _Hmm,_ it thought. _I feel like I've just gotten my insides hammered out of me. _It transformed and stood up, barely reaching ten inches high. _Whoa! How did I do that?! _All of a sudden, a passing technician who had been studying the AllSpark yelled,

"Hey! Call security! Code seven!" The CD player gasped and ran off in the same direction that Frenzy had gone. "Don't let it get away!" The human yelled.

The CD player slid into a small, abandoned room, peeking out of the doorway to make sure that the human had gone. When he was sure that he was safe, he jumped onto the table and transformed, to be even safer. _Now, what should I name myself?_ He went through many options before settling on Lazerburn. He thought the name had a nice ring to it.

After a while, he got up off his lazy duff and began testing his weapons, which he had recently discovered. Much to his disappointment, he only had two weapons: a small shoulder-mounted laser gun and a buzz saw like thing his arm could turn into.

When he was done experimenting with the ways he could slice something to ribbons and or burn it, the result was four chairs with the legs sawed off, a collapsed table, radio parts everywhere, and twenty security guards running to find out what the source of the strange sounds was.

The guards kicked in the door, obviously expecting something taller than the little robot that had clearly been in the act of sawing off the head of a rubber duck. Lord knows where the rubber duck came from. Lazerburn attempted to dash between the guards' feet, but he was as surprised to see them as they were to see him, so he missed and slammed into the doorjamb. One of the more seasoned guards made a grab at him, but Lazerburn dodged his hand and flew down the corridor. He came into a large room and saw an extremely large, gray robot flinging humans all over the place, and promptly turned around.

As Lazerburn was running down another hallway, he noticed that Frenzy was trying to get through a set of double doors. Frenzy was screeching and clawing, and evidently there were humans on the other side of the doors, because they could hear them yelling, and at one point a human even stuck a rifle between the doors and attempted to shoot Frenzy. Frenzy responded by jumping into an air vent and entering the room in that extremely clichéd fashion. One could even wonder why top-secret organizations have that type of air vent anymore.

Lazerburn slipped into the room and sat on a desk, watching the crazy humans trying to use a flamethrower on a cart to burn Frenzy. Even more stupid than that was when Frenzy accidentally killed himself with one of his own throwing stars. Slightly disgusted with this ending to the life of Frenzy, Lazerburn left. Time to find where the rest of the action was!

"Ha!" You say. "Earlier you said 'CD players can't think'!" Well, they can't. But obviously you haven't realized that this is not your average CD player anymore. So just keep reading.


	4. Tranquility

Eventually, Lazerburn came upon a room with troops loading into a helicopter. _Oh, this'll be fun!_ Thought Lazerburn, hopping onto one of the helicopter's runners.

After a few hours filled with boredom, the helicopter's incessant buzzing, and never-changing landscape, the helicopter began to slow down and descend. Lazerburn looked down and, to his delight, saw that they were over a teeming metropolis, just like any other city, except for one thing: the giant robots. In his efforts to see the others fighting as he passed them, Lazerburn leaned over as far as he could, stretching until he was just holding on with his fingertips, trying to see… _Bang!_ The helicopter gave an almighty lurch as it tried to dodge rubble from a falling F-22, courtesy of Starscream. Lazerburn was catapulted off of the helicopter's runner and fell with a high-pitched, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Wildly, he tried everything in his power to slow his descent. Finally, he hit gold: his buzz saw. The buzz saw acted like a propeller, letting him fall softly to the ground. Unfortunately, he landed right smack in the middle of where Optimus Prime and Megatron were fighting.

Lazerburn watched the battle from a ditch, entranced. Only after he heard a scuffling sound did he realize that there was a human in the ditch, too. He hid in a drainage pipe and then saw what the human was carrying. The AllSpark! Lazerburn followed him closely, until Sam ran into the abandoned building, followed closely by Megatron. After this, Lazerburn wandered the streets aimlessly, examining the carnage. A woman running from the battle area saw Lazerburn walking down the street and screamed.

"THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!!!!" Lazerburn whirled around.

"Uh-oh!" He took off running as fast as he could, then tripped. _Ach! What's on my foot?! _He examined it, and to his surprise, he found little wheels. _Yes! _He got up shakily, then skated away faster than he could run, nearly falling over. A deep, powerful yell resonated from the city, full of pain.


End file.
